In June 2005, Lauren and her friends in the Caracal Battalion carried out a check at the exit checkpoint from Qalqilya. One of the soldiers noticed two Palestinian women and asked them to identify themselves, but they attacked her. Lauren wanted to help the female soldier and was attacked herself. She wasn't able to use her gun, for fear of detonating the improvised explosive device (IED) being worn by one of the Palestinian women. Lauren was left alone in the face of the terrorists and was severely beaten as the other soldiers evacuated the area because of the threat of an explosion from the suicide vest. "After a month in rehabilitation, I understood from my parents that I was screaming at night, not sleeping, and they decided to send me for treatment. I was discharged from the army, went on a trip to India and returned to study. I am currently completing a Ph.D. in the Department of Political Science at Bar-Ilan University. I am a mother of two and am dealing with my failure."

"Today it's not flashbacks, it's a sense of failure"

Photo: Ronen Fadida